If Blogs Were Houseplants...

If blogs were houseplants, I would be in serious trouble!  They would surely be dead by now.  I have been neglecting my blogs lately.  They are shriveling and drying up.  They are crying out desperately for some love and attention.  And I really don’t blame them…

When I started all three of my blogs I didn’t really have a plan.  It was more of an impulse.  I had some ideas.  I live to write.  I wanted some place where I could write whatever inspired me.  And it wouldn’t hurt for me to have some extra writing practice either.  So, I jumped in headfirst, eager to test the waters.

At first, my enthusiasm carried me along.  Sometimes I would go a few days without posting, but I eagerly came running back  I never run out of ideas to write about, so I was convinced that at least three posts per blog per week would be a breeze.

Boy, was I wrong!  I never planned on my son having difficulties in school and needing much more of my attention for the 2012-2013 school year.  I had underestimated how greatly my fibromyalgia affects my concentration and my ability to sit at a desk.  I hadn’t planned on my mom getting married or the week-long vacation that followed.  Oh, and I never realized how insane it can be to plan your own wedding in only three months.

I know, excuses, excuses.  Blogs are a commitment and when we start them we make a promise our readers to keep them up and running.  Still, knowing now where I went wrong from the beginning, I can now make a new beginning and start over fresh.  From now on, I’m going to put regular posts into my schedule, and even if it is only once a week per blog until I get my true blogging legs, at least I can revel in the consistency.

Thank you for understanding and supporting my journey into blogging.  I hope you continue to check back in the coming weeks to see what new posts I have in store.  You never know what new treasures you might find amongst all this blogging dust!

Which Heals Faster: My Body or My Pride?

Accidents happen.  There’s no way to prevent all of them.  We are imperfect beings living in a chaotic universe.  So, running into the occasional mishap is simply part of life.  Still, sometimes something happens which leaves us shaking our head and red faced from the shocking stupidity that can erupt when imperfect people collide head on with an imperfect world.

Tonight I had one of those moments.  After a long day of cleaning and organizing my house, I was ready to relax and then go to bed early.  With the new school year fast approaching, I’ve been aiming to slowly shift my schedule--gradually going to bed earlier so I can be ready for much earlier mornings.  To help me unwind, I hopped in the hot tub and soaked for a while.  By the time 10:00 pm rolled around, I was de-stressed and more than ready to sleep.

However, before I drifted off to dreamland, I wanted to be nice and pack my fiance a lunch to take to work in the morning.  He works so incredibly hard for our family, so he deserves a healthy lunch waiting for him when he wakes up. Well, I busily went to work in the kitchen and gathered everything I needed to pack his lunch.

Within seconds, I had everything I needed to pack my fiance’s lunch...except a container to pack his sandwich. We store these containers on the top shelf of the corner cabinet--well out of this fun-sized individual’s reach. Too much in a hurry to get done and get to bed, I skipped leaving the room to get the step stool. Instead, I slid over one of the chairs from the kitchen table and climbed up to grab a container.

As soon as the container was in hand, the chair started to lurch.  Before I could even scream, one the legs of the chair bent and I went flying head over heels!  My hip slammed into the metal part of the chair, my entire weight surging behind it.  I continued to roll forward, and before I knew it, I flipped head first over my shoulder and landed on my knee and elbow.

Believe you me, that fall knocked the wind out of me and I literally felt like I was dying!  I hit a pressure point in my hip as I crashed into the back of the chair.  That alone would have done me in.  But oh, no.  I HAD to collide with the floor at such a velocity that it forced every last bit of air out of my lungs.

I stayed there laying in a tangled heap on the kitchen floor for what seemed like an eternity.  Saucer-sized cat eyes stared back at me in utter disbelief and fear.  Then one of my cats decided to be brave and walked across my back for a closer look.  She then plopped down and lied next to me with her little furry behind stuffed in my face.

All I could think was this is it.  This is the end, and the last thing I’ll see in this life is fuzzy feline butt! Miraculously, though, I gasped and my breath rushed back into my chest.  Of course, this little ‘near-death experience’ probably only lasted mere seconds.  But to me, it felt like I really HAD been knocking on deaths door.  I was so relieved to be alive...and able to move the hairy cat rear away from my face!

However, as I tried to stand up, the reality of my accident started to sink in.  I could feel the swelling in my hip, elbow, and knee immediately.  As I struggled against the pain to right myself, I felt blood dripping down my leg. And finally, as my children came rushing into the room to see what all the ruckus was about, the true pain of my mishap sank in--my pride was definitely more than a little bruised!

As my children asked me a zillion questions (including why my pajama shorts had partially fallen down), I began to wonder to myself which hurts worse: my body or my ego?  Suffice it to say, I am still awake 5 hours later nursing my very sore hip, my banged up knee and elbow, and my wounded dignity.

No, this whole incident wasn’t my fault.  Apparently, the chair had a faulty weld on one of the legs.  It was a hidden accident just waiting to happen and I was the “lucky” one to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.  Still, I can’t help but feel embarrassed and a bit like a clutz.  The fact is I’m a magnet for freak accidents, and this isn’t the first time I’ve found myself the hapless and blushing victim of circumstance.  I know it won’t be the last either.

Over the years, I’ve realized that my body is pretty adept at bouncing back from accidents, and I think that within a matter of days, I should be back to my old self.  But what about my pride?  Well, this one was a doozy and only time will tell if I can live down this mishap!

10 Things You Should NOT Say to Someone With a Chronic Illness

Normally, I like to talk directly to you, my fellow fibro and chronic illness warriors. YOU are the only people who matter to me. I am here to share in your struggle. I am here to try to help. And I am here to listen and understand. That is the main purpose for writing about my struggle with fibromyalgia.

Today, however, I want to make a little detour from that main purpose and address all those around us: friends, family, co-workers, enemies, critics, and everyone in between. Today, I felt the need to address the top 10 things you should NEVER say to someone suffering from a chronic illness.

10.) “Oh, but this pill will help...” Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to tell you that we chronic illness sufferers DO want to get better. We DO appreciate your advice. We DO love that you are concerned and are trying to help. But please, take a moment and listen. Some of us (particularly those with fibromyalgia) have tried everything under the sun, and we are still struggling. Many chronic illnesses are complex and tend to vary person to person. There is often no cure and no one-size-fits-all treatment plan. Please believe us when we say that a little pill is NOT the answer.

9.) “But you finished all that stuff yesterday...” This is definitely one of my pet peeves! Just because we were able to be productive yesterday, it doesn’t mean that we can’t have a bad day today. Oh, and no, we aren’t just making excuses so we can avoid you and slack on our responsibilities. Actually, our symptoms come and go. Some days are better and some days are rotten. At times, we can catch a glimpse of the old life we used to have. And other times, we are reminded just how fragile and limited our medical conditions can make us. It’s just how life with a chronic illness plays out.

8.) “You just need to get out more...” Why is it as soon as we get discouraged or have a bad day that people assume that we are simply depressed or in a rut? Our symptoms are real. They are NOT in our heads. Having a flare day is NOT a sign of weakness or of a poor outlook on life. And no, our problems cannot be solved simply by getting a social life. Would you try to treat the flu or the chickenpox with a girls’ night out? I don’t think so!

7.) “Oh, I felt like that once; it wasn’t so bad...” Wait? You didn’t just go there! Attempts at sympathy and understanding are very much welcomed. But since you haven’t walked a mile in our shoes, check your judgement at the door, please. There is NO way you are going to win any bonus points by trying to trivialize our symptoms. We know what we feel. It is very real and very present for us. For everyone’s sake, please keep your comparisons to yourself...or even better, don’t make them at all!

6.) “But I thought you’ve seen a bunch of doctors...” Yes, we have visited more doctors than we care to remember. We have been poked, prodded, and violated in ways that would make you cringe. We have spent thousands--even millions--of dollars and countless hours trying to get to the bottom of our medical conditions. And we will continue throwing endless time, energy, and cash away in our pursuit for health. Nevertheless, we aren’t cured and some of us aren’t really even better than when we started out. Doctors aren’t magicians or miracle workers. There are some things even they can’t fix.

5.) “You’re still sick? I’ll keep praying...” Now don’t get me wrong. Prayer is a wonderful thing, and we always appreciate it. God is up there listening and He has been known to create miracles from time to time. However, man can’t live on prayer alone. Just like you we have other needs. With your next prayer, could you throw in a prepared meal on a flare day? Or maybe an offer to pitch in around the house? Or perhaps a little companionship during the periods we are stuck at home. Thank you for petitioning the Lord for what He might do to help, but don’t forget the little things you could do to help, as well. It’s the little things that mean the most!

4.) “Maybe if you just tried a little harder...” Oh, this one irks me to no end! We chronic illness sufferers fight every day for so many things people normally take for granted. We fight to keep our food down. We fight to walk. We fight to take care of ourselves. We fight to do the simplest of tasks. Having a chronic illness is downright hard work, but we keep at it day after day. We are relentless, merciless overachievers, and it bothers us immensely when we can’t measure up. So, what makes you think we could push ourselves anymore than we already do? It simply isn’t humanly possible.

3.) “Perhaps you only need a little more faith...” God IS a miracle worker. He DOES heal the faithful and CAN move mountains for those who truly believe. But isn’t it a little arrogant to believe that you know what God is or isn’t doing in someone else’s life or what He is thinking? The truth is the Lord works in mysterious ways. He often does the exact opposite of what mankind believes should happen. And by the way, I think I remember hearing something about only needing faith the size of a mustard seed.

2.) “But you don’t look sick to me...” This statement here is a verbal slap in the face! Please, don’t ever say this to anyone with medical problems. Since when is there a visual requirement for being sick? There are a lot of illnesses and conditions out there that are quiet and devious. They silently wreck people’s lives with little to no external evidence. You wouldn’t tell someone that they aren’t suffering from heartburn or a headache, so please don’t take it upon yourself to judge whether or not we are suffering from a chronic illness.

1.) “But don’t you want to do more with your life...?” No, chronic illness is NOT a poor career move. It is NOT a poor lifestyle choice. We didn’t wake up one day and say, “Oh, I think I’ll develop a life-altering condition today.” We still have our hopes and dreams. We still have our desire for and vision of a better, more prosperous tomorrow. We struggle with our worth, our usefulness, and our purpose. Exactly like you, we want--we NEED--to feel like we are living a productive and purposeful life. If it were up to us, we’d kick chronic illness to the curb in a New York second and move on to greener pastures. But that’s the thing. It is NOT up to us. We are stuck in an unfair situation, and we are forced to make the best of it. Yes, that is the life we have been given, and we choose every day to live it as best as we can. How could you expect anything more?

Woohoo, I Lost 2 Pounds This Week!

It appears my hard work and dedication is paying off.  I haven't been perfectly consistent with the recording part, but I certainly have been doing a fine job measuring my food.  Portion control is an important part of weight loss, so I am happy to see I am getting into the habit of measuring out my food.

It is amazing how much food we are actually consuming when we assume it is simply a single serving.  Even my idea of a cup of milk or juice has been way off.  Each time I poured myself a bowl of cereal or a glass of juice, I was actually getting about 1 1/2 servings.  Those extra servings meant extra calories.  And boy, those extra calories can really sneak up on you!

For whatever reasons (i.e., age, fibro, giving birth to two children), my metabolism has drastically changed.  Gone are the days when I could freely eat whatever and how ever much I wanted without gaining an ounce.  I must be more diligent and mindful of every little piece of food or every sip of drink that I consume each day.  Calories go down a lot easier than they ever come back off, so unless I want to continue gaining more weight as I grow older, I must continue to take full responsibility.

Yes, this is a big change for me.  Sometimes, I am uncertain about what would be a healthier food choice.  Right now, I'm hungry most of the day since I've been overeating for so long.  Actually evaluating, measuring, and recording my meals takes up precious time.  However, my life and health are even more precious.  I am worth all this hassle and discomfort.  In time, it will get easier as all of this becomes habit.  And I know as I see more and more weight melt away, it will encourage me to fight even harder for my old body.  Yes, I CAN do this!