B is for Bathtubs

The next helpful must-have for people with fibromyalgia is a big, relaxing bathtub. When I used to have a bathtub, I grossly took it for granted. When I was experiencing a severe flare I never failed to utilize this beautiful blessing two...three...even four times per day. I stocked up on Epsom salt, moisturizing bubble bath, and relaxing bath oils to help combat my fibro symptoms. It wasn’t until we bought a home with only a shower that I came to realize what I had lost.

There is something incredibly soothing about gently floating in a hot bath after a long day. Wet heat and Epsom salts eased my stiff, achy, cramped muscles. Warm water combined with moisturizing bath soaps or bubble bath brought amazing relief to my itchy, dry skin. And relaxing bath oils melted away the stress and tension, as well as helped me combat insomnia. I miss those days, and I’m hoping to save up money to install a bathtub soon!

All my fibro warriors, I highly recommend you take full advantage of your bathtub, and if you don’t have one, it would be wise to eventually install one. A shower feels nice, but it never seems to get the heat deep enough and it prevents you from soaking and relaxing. Bathtubs might seem like ordinary, everyday parts of our home, but it is certainly a godsend in disguise. I have yet to meet someone with fibromyalgia who doesn’t agree that bathtubs make the perfect break from the fibro struggle.

A is for Air Conditioning

For the A to Z Challenge, we will be discussing some fibromyalgia must-haves--things that often help us fibro warriors to deal with or decrease our symptoms or to make our lives a little better or easier.  Fibromyalgia is a complicated condition, which manifests itself in vastly different ways.  Some of these in my list may not work as well (or even at all) for some of you.  However, I tried to stick with the bare essentials, so you will find many helpful tips over the next month.

So, without further ado...A is for air conditioning.  I know many people in the U.S. are just recovering from a frigid winter, but summer will come and with it, hot, humid days.  I have heard that they are predicting an extra hot and humid summer this year in many parts of the U.S.  Consequently, I’m working away at creating my summer oasis--somewhere I can hide when the temps get too high and too unbearable.

I’ve noticed that I can’t handle extreme weather (cold or hot), and many of my fibro friends are the exact same way.  For many of us, hot and humid weather saps our energy, increases our headaches, gives us intestinal issues, and even may give us rashes.  So, it is imperative to have a plan to combat the summer heat and humidity.

Having air conditioning in your home can be perfect, too, if summer heat causes you grief.  However, it isn’t always possible to have air conditioning or the power may go out, so create alternative plans. There are many ways to help you stay cool: (1) set up a comfortable spot to relax in the basement. (2) Stock up on fans (or even misting fans).  (3) Keep your fridge and freezer full of cooling drinks and treats.  (4)  Jump into the pool, shower, or bathtub.  (5) Limit time outside during peak sun times and while excessive hot and/or humid.  Or (6) if the summer weather gets too unbearable, find a public air-conditioned spot (mall, restaurant, grocery store, loved one’s home, etc.) as your fall back spot to take a break.  With a little planning, we can all get the most fun and enjoyment out of summer despite the sticky weather.

It Is A to Z Blogging Challenge Time!

Dear fibro warriors and supporters,

I apologize for my lengthy absence. For the last few months, I’ve had to deal with a horrible flare up--only rivaled by the original flare that sent me seeking answers and help 5 ½ years ago. Blame stress, the incredibly harsh winter, the unpredictability of this debilitating condition, or a combination of all of the above, but I’ve had little strength, energy, or clarity of mind to blog for far too long.

However, I am back and attempting to get back in the saddle again. It is April. It is a new month. Spring has sprung...and with it, a little more of my energy and health. The beginning of April also marks the start of the A to Z Blogging Challenge.

At first, I was reluctant to participate on this challenge for the 3rd year in a row. I’m just beginning to feel more like myself. I am obviously rusty with blogging. And I have plenty of other obligations and responsibilities on my plate already. Still, April only rolls around once a year, and I am always one to seize the day--or in this case, the month--whenever possible. Life is precious. My writing is precious. My relationship with all of you is precious, too.

Consequently, I am pleased to announced that, a day late, I have entered all three of my blogs into the A to Z Challenge again this year. Buckle up and hang on for a grueling but exciting ride. Stop by every day of April (except Sundays) to see if I can blog though fibromyalgia and other related topics from A to Z. Can I do it? Can I write 78 blog posts between my three blogs before the month’s end? Only time will tell!

Health and Happiness to You All,

Amanda

Post © 2014 Amanda R. Dollak. Image Credit: Blogging from A to Z April Challenge

A to Z April Blogging Challenge Reflections

With chronic illness looming over our heads every day, it is so easy to go into survival mode. All we start caring about is making it through one more day, hour, or even minute. Our main purpose in life becomes trying to find relief for our symptoms and a way to cope. In reality, though, if we allow ourselves to remain in survival mode, we actually cease to live. We forget to laugh, enjoy, and dream. We forget that life has a purpose and that we have an obligation to discover that purpose.

The A to Z April Blogging Challenge has helped me realize that I have been losing faith in my future and in my dreams. Fibromyalgia hijacked my life over 4 years ago, and a part of me is still there. I am still in shock that I am now disabled. I am still left wondering what is left for me since my body no longer can handle even everyday chores at times. And a part of me is too afraid to dream and hope for a better tomorrow again.

I guess I had assumed that if I rested and did this or that that I’d get a handle on my fibromyalgia and I could go back to living again. I had assumed that once my symptoms were more under control, I could go back to finish my education, start my criminal justice career, and pursue my writing dreams. But for whatever reason, my fibromyalgia is still going strong—and unwittingly, I’ve allowed it to convince me that my dreams are no longer valid.

Well, the 2013 A to Z Challenge has given me an addictive taste of freedom. I may be a prisoner in my body at times and fibro fog may interfere with my mind, but I am meant for more than this. I am meant to dream. I am meant to imagine. I am meant to share my thoughts and ideas. I am meant to stay true to myself and to write to my heart’s content.

From now on, I promise myself to not allow my chronic illness to sabotage my dreams and deepest desires. I long to write every day and that’s what I plan to do. Some days I might only manage a few minutes, but I won’t allow my fibromyalgia to steal another part of my life away. This is my life. No matter how much I hurt or how fatigued I become, I choose to actively live it.

Will you join me today and tell your chronic illness that enough is enough? Will you once again dream with me and embrace again the things that you love? Chronic illness may have changed the way we must live, but let us never again allow it to keep us from living!

Z...Zany in the Brainy: The Effects of Fibro Fog

Have you ever misplaced your keys and searched for them for 20 minutes, only to find they were in your hand all along? Have you ever received a bill with a late fee and you swear up and down up paid it on time, but then discover that you never actually did make that payment? Do you forget names, numbers, or addresses for people that you’ve known for most of you life? Or have you had cooking disasters simply because you lost track of which or how much of ingredients you’ve already added?

This is my life thanks to fibromyalgia. My memory issues, aka fibro fog, varies from day to day. Some days it’s just a minor inconvenience, and I’ve developed strategies to push me through. I use Google Calendar to schedule everything from meals to appointments to bills. I have it send me reminders to my cell, so I’m much less likely to forget one of my obligations. I use step-by-step to-do lists when I am rushed and have to complete a complicated task. I utilize alarms on my cell to remind me of exact times I have to be doing something. And I leave little Post-its around to keep myself on track. I create reminders for my reminders and notes for my notes. I try to make my schedule system so multifaceted and overlapping that I can get the information I need, regardless of how much I forget.

Occasionally, though, my fibro fog gets so bad that it goes beyond basic forgetfulness. Sometimes during a conversation, I’ll just stop because I can’t remember what I was saying. I forget meanings of words when I’m reading. In fact, I will stare at familiar words and not be able to even tell you what they are. I’ve had moments when I actually forgot my name. And once, I even got lost walking in my own neighborhood because I couldn’t remember how to get back home for a while.

Thankfully, these major memory lapses are temporary and the terrifying ones are an exception to the rule. But still, fibro fog is a very unnerving symptom, and sometimes it leave me feeling incredible vulnerable. I feel like I am losing my mind or losing touch with reality when my fibro fog gets too out of control.

I like to joke that fibromyalgia has left me zany in the brainy. That’s one of the way I cope. I’m a firm believer that to remain sane in this chaotic world, we need to find some humor in it all. On the other hand, though, I think I use humor as a way to hide how much fibro fog scares me. My biggest fear in life is losing my mind, and fibro fog gives me plenty of glimpses into my own darkest nightmare. To be quite frank, it scares the hell out of me! But I chose to laugh and I chose to find ways to work around my forgetfulness. That way I can feel like I‘m retaking some control of my mind!

Y...Yoga Can Bring Back a Little More You

I have a yoga companion!

One of the things that has helped my fibromyalgia the most over the years is regular gentle exercise, particularly yoga. Although I’m not as good at making time for daily exercise as I should be, yoga has taken much of the stiffness out of my muscles and brought some of my mobility back. It also has taught me breathing techniques that allow me to draw my focus away from my pain when my pain gets too much to handle. I can’t ignore my pain completely, but yoga allows me to put some of it in the background, taking the edge off of my pain and discomfort.

Before fibromyalgia hijacked my life, I always assumed that I wasn’t a yoga person. Once upon a time, I was an active person, so I sought out exercises that required a lot of movement and energy. I concluded that yoga would be far too slow and dull to keep me interested and that it wouldn’t do much to keep me fit. Now I realize just how wrong I actually was!

Yoga is a relaxing activity, but it requires a good bit of concentration and energy, as well. And when I do yoga I often sweat more than I’ve ever sweated before. Yoga can be far more difficult than it looks. In fact, I’ve had to modify some of the poses because I don’t have enough strength or endurance to maintain them for very long. Yoga is certainly not for the weak or faint of heart.

Yoga, though, can be a wonderful choice for fibromyalgia and other chronic illnesses. (1) There are so many different difficulty levels, and there are ways to modify the poses. This allows you to create a plan that best suits your endurance level and abilities.

(2) It also requires little equipment besides a yoga mat and a video or instructional guide. This makes yoga cheap and mobile. People with chronic illnesses have plenty of expenses to deal with already, so cheap is automatically good. And life with health problems can be complex, so a flexible exercise means you are more likely to stick to it. 

(3) And even small sessions of yoga can smooth away tension and help sore, stiff muscles. Many people with chronic illnesses must deal with fatigue. As such, long exercise sessions are usually out of the question. Pain makes longer exercise sessions difficult as well. Yoga allows you to work in your time restraints and limitations.

If yoga sounds like it might be a good exercise plan for you, I suggest that you find out more about it. Talk this option over with your doctor. Do a little research online. Borrow a book or video at the library and try it on for size. Yoga may be an important step towards a healthier tomorrow, so don’t be afraid to explore it, even if you think it isn’t really your style. You might find that, just like me, yoga is more than what meets the eye and can help ease your symptoms.

X...X-Rays, CAT Scans, and Blood Work--Oh, My!

Since I had a weaker immune system as a child, I have had plenty of experience with being sick and needing medical care. On top of that, I was a very active child and wound up with quite a few injuries that brought me to the ER. Still, nothing truly prepared me for the magnitude of the tests and procedures that were necessary before I was finally diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It didn’t take long before I started feeling like I was a lab rat or an alien specimen!

I’ve had EKG’s, x-rays, CAT scans, MRI’s, and more blood work than I ever care to remember. I endured a horrible spinal tap that required multiple tries. And I have been poked, prodded, and violated in more ways than I ever thought was possible. Fibromyalgia can look like so many other conditions and there isn’t a test yet for fibro, so I know that these were all necessary to help me get to the truth. Still, I long for the days when needles and doctors didn’t give me the chills.

If you suspect you have fibromyalgia and are just starting your journey to diagnosis, I wish you the best of luck. I know that this all seems so endless and uncomfortable now, but one day, it will become just a memory. No, you may never look at medical instruments or personnel the same again, but most of the negative emotions and procedures will fade. Most people with fibromyalgia have endured this long diagnosis process, so you aren’t alone. Just try to stay focused on the need for answers and remember that eventually this part of fibromyalgia DOES get better.

Some day, you will look back on all this as a necessary evil that helped you start the journey to reclaiming your life. Knowing your enemy is a large part of the battle. Once you know exactly what you are facing, you have a much better chance to find ways to cope and to improve your symptoms. What you endure today will help you create a better tomorrow, so stay strong, my fibro warriors! This shall pass before you know it.

W...Why Me?

At times, I swear I have much more than my fair share of problems and bad luck. If I sat down and wrote my life’s story so far, I’m sure people would insist it was fiction or accuse me of lying. The truth is I have been through some of the worst things this world can conjure up, and now I am stuck in a daily battle with my body because of fibromyalgia. It’s hard for me to not struggle with the why-me’s at times. I’d be lying if I said that I always have faith that God has a plan and somehow will work this into something good. Yes, sometimes I wonder whether He has forgotten about me in all my troubles.

Since we are mere humans and thus can’t see the big picture, it is so easy to wonder why God is allowing us to endure so much pain and suffering. If He is such a loving God, why do we have to hurt so much? And what is the purpose of all this pain? Why us? Why does anyone have deal with fibromyalgia and other painful chronic illnesses at all? Where is the sense in all of this?

Oh, how I wish I knew! My faith in God’s good nature and my pain, which sometimes tries to steal my sanity, battle inside my heart and mind. I once had people tell me that I am suffering so much because I must have done a severe wrong against God. In their mind, God doesn’t allow pain unless He is punishing us for something. And they reasoned that if only I would confess and repent, my pain would miraculously go away. 

At first, I half wondered about this myself. I’m no saint. I’ve done plenty of things I’m not proud of, and there are even a few things that bring me shame. But really, could I be guilty of something so bad that God would choose to punish me with such continuous pain for over 4 years now? I don’t think so. I try my best every day to do what is right, and I really think that that is all that matters to God. Besides, I have a feeling He is far quicker to forgive me than I am ever able to forgive myself.

I have come to the conclusion that I don’t have the faintest idea why I must endure fibromyalgia, and I may never know. But I made the decision to trust in God and to live the life I’ve been given to the fullest. It isn’t the perfect life. In fact, it’s not even a normal life. But I’m thankful for the chance to still live and choose to cherish every moment that I can. Focusing on the why-me’s and what-ifs is really pointless. It only rob me of more happiness and more of my life. Fibro has limited me enough, so why should I box myself in even further with such negativity? Why should I add to the damage it has already caused?

V...Verbal Venting

Since chronic illness involves so much negativity and feelings of frustration, anger, and grief, it is very important that we find a constructive way to vent. If we go through life pretending that everything is fine or that each day isn’t a battle, we’re setting ourselves up for more problems or even a meltdown. Trying to contain all the negativity and emotional baggage is unhealthy. And eventually you’ll explode because one way or another, your body knows it needs to purge itself to survive.

Unfortunately, though, inappropriate venting endangers our relationships and may actually spawn more negativity. If all we’re talking about is how bad we feel, how much we resent our illness, and how difficult life has become, no one will eventually want to be around us. Focusing too much on how badly our chronic illness has affected our lives will only leave us bitter, angry, and alone one day.

Because of this, we must find a balance. We must discover healthy and beneficial ways to vent. First, we must remember that it is good to verbally discuss our problems with close friends and family members. We need to remember, though, we shouldn’t use this as our only means of venting. When we find that our chronic illness is the subject of even half of our conversations with loved ones it is very unhealthy and is endangering our relationships.

That is why I have come up with some other useful ways to vent about my fibromyalgia. One wonderful way of purging myself of my chronic illness baggage is my personal journal. I created an online journal simply for jotting down my most negative thoughts, feelings, and fears. When I feel overwhelmed, like my life is spinning out of control and I can’t take it anymore, I sit down and write it all out in my journal. Then, I close the entry down and never revisit it again. This allows me to discard the negativity and push forward with my life.

Another constructive way I decided to deal with my illness was to create this blog. One of my biggest desires is to make a difference and to be there to support others with chronic illnesses. So when I come here I may feel discouraged and hopeless at first. However, after starting a new blog post, I find I can’t stay negative for very long. My desire to uplift and support my fellow chronic illness warriors always wins. 

There are many ways that we can rid ourselves of the negativity buildup. Exercise, yoga, volunteer work, arts and crafts, and music can renew our sense of purpose and accomplishment. Basically, if we do the things that make us happy, there will be no room for all the negativity. A happy, content mind isn’t fertile ground for all the darker things in life. When negative thoughts and emotions try to invade there won’t be a dark corner for them to fester.

U...Unbreakable, Unshakable, Unstoppable You

Sometimes we get so caught up in how our chronic illness hinders our lives or has harmed us that we can’t see beyond all the negativity. Yes, our health problems have robbed us of so much and make our lives incredibly challenging. But I want you to set that all aside right now and consider how it has inadvertently made you stronger. So many people are ashamed to admit that they suffer from a chronic illness. They are afraid that others will assume that they’re weak and pathetic. In reality, though, chronic illness is never for the weak. Because we must come back fighting every single day, we grow stronger and better in spite of it.

Since I’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I’ve noticed that my strength of will and determination have greatly increased. I decided early on that I wasn’t going to allow a chronic illness to ruin my life. I am far too young and I have too much potential to bow down to fibromyalgia. It would be so much easier to just stay in bed and not push through my symptoms. But what kind of life would that be? I don’t want to go to my grave knowing that I never really gave myself a chance to live.

Fibromyalgia has also made me a more caring and considerate person. With my health problems, I see every day just how difficult life can be and how much pain someone can be in while still looking normal. I can now truly understand other people’s pain and struggles. And now I have the desire, more than ever, to help people, especially those dealing with fibromyalgia and other invisible conditions.

The fact is life with a chronic illness is never going to be fun. We are forever going to wish that we could be well. However, we have a choice whether we will allow it to make us bitter and resentful or we will choose to let it make us a better person. I know it is difficult to focus on the positives in life when you’re constantly in pain. Believe me, I struggle with it as well. But I choose each day to make the most of the life I’ve been given. Sometimes that means taking a timeout, reassessing my reactions and attitudes, and then forcing myself to see beyond the negative. On my better days, this can take little effort. But on my worst days, it can be a constant battle.

Ultimately, it is up to you how much you allow your chronic illness to dictate your life. It may affect you in many ways, physically, mentally, and emotionally. But don’t allow it to steal your entire life. Reach for your dreams. Live hard. And enjoy the blessings of life.

T...The Terrible Twitches

As I sit here writing this tonight, I’m wrestling with my sanity. No, I’m not worried that I’m literally losing my mind. But I am aggravated and frustrated beyond words. My left eyeball has been twitching all day long and I can’t seem to find anything that will help. The twitching is so intense that I keep checking myself in the mirror. With how much it is interfering with my vision, you’d think it would be visible externally. But like most of my twitches, it is just another hidden symptom of fibromyalgia.

Before I started taking magnesium, vitamin B, and vitamin D supplements, I was wracked with twitches throughout my body on a regular basis. For those of you who rarely or never suffer from twitches, you may not realize how difficult such a symptom is. Actually, I’ve had more sleepless nights due to nonstop twitching than I’ve had because of my pain. I learned early on how to take the edge off of my pain. So unless my pain is severe, I can still get some rest. But with twitching, my brain stays continuously engaged. I can literally see the movement of my twitching and throbbing inside my head. And of course, all this twitching and throbbing is not at the same time. As a result, my body can have quite a lot of commotion going on when I’m trying to sleep. At times, it feels as though I have an army of microscopic tap dancers having a ball on my body.

I have always been a light sleeper. My brain stays active if there’s too much light, noise, or even smells. And internal movement is just as bad. My doctor put me on muscle relaxers to try to lessen my twitching and muscle spasms. But even at the maximum dosage, my symptoms did not improve. I was beginning to think I’d be stuck with twitches and muscle spasms for the rest of my life. Imagine my surprise, the severity and frequency of these issues greatly improved after starting the supplements that my doctor recommended.

I highly doubt I’ll ever be twitch and cramped free. Still, it’s a relief to know that the symptoms are not nearly as bad as they used to be. It sure means a lot less sleepless nights and aggravation.  If you suffer from twitches and muscle spasms, I highly recommend that you speak with your doctor about if these supplements are right for you. Getting enough vitamins and minerals is an important part of getting and staying healthy.

S... Stretch Before You Leap!

One of my favorite things is to go hiking and mountain biking with my fiancé and children. I have been an outdoorsy person since I was a little girl. My parents had the darnedest time getting me to come inside after a sunny summer’s day. Even now I wish I could spend all day, every day outside. My fibromyalgia, though, has put a damper on my active life. And I’ve gotten so frustrated with my body at times because it can keep me from doing what I love.

Yet, anyone who knows me can attest that I don’t give up easily. In fact, you could say I’m pretty stubborn. I don’t take too kindly to being kept from the things I love. And I will go out of my way to find some way around the obstacle. Consequently, I’ll never give in to fibromyalgia.

I still hike and mountain bike. But I have had to learn to make some changes. First, with my fibromyalgia this active, I must pace myself. I can’t go nearly every day like I used to. Fourteen-mile hikes are out of the question now. Secondly, I must always prepare my body. It is vital that I warm up and stretch before I exercise. Otherwise, I’m setting myself up for pulled muscles and painful muscle cramps. I also need to pack a snack and plenty of water. I easily get sick now if I’m hungry or dehydrated. Lastly, I have to pay special attention to my attire. I need comfortable shoes and multiple layers even in warm weather. I can easily get chilled if it turns too shady or windy.

Has your chronic illness interfered with the activities that you love? If so, how have you tried to compensate? What changes have you made so you can still pursue your favorite activities?

R...Regular Rest and Relaxation

Normally, I’m true to my word. I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. I am one of those people who always tries to practice what she preaches. However, when it comes to ensuring that I have enough rest and relaxation I have a hard time following my own advice. From all the research I have done on fibromyalgia over the years, I know how important sleep is, especially with those suffering from a chronic illness. In fact, I know that overworking myself and getting an average of 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night during my college years is part of why my fibromyalgia is so active. A person cannot go through life getting little sleep and working too hard without there being consequences.

Yet, lately my sleep schedule is chaotic and my amount of sleep is too low. April has turned out to be a hectic month. I underestimated the strain of doing the A to Z Blogging Challenge with three blogs. I didn’t foresee several family emergencies. I didn’t make a concrete schedule until this week, so I failed to visualize just how overbooked I was becoming this month. It didn’t take too long before I realized I’m in over my head this month.

I am not one to give up. I don’t back out of my promises and obligations. Thus, until this month is over, I will continue to skimp on my rest and relaxation. But beginning next month, I plan to be much wiser with my schedule. I’m going to write down every single appointment, assignment, obligation, and event from now on. That way I’ll be able to see when I start putting too much on my plate. Furthermore, I guarantee I will be getting at least 7 hours of sleep every night. I haven’t felt this tired and overwhelmed in a long time, it is never going to happen again!

If we don’t take care of our bodies, who is going to do it? We’re stuck with the same body our whole lives, so why do we treat ourselves with such disrespect and disregard? I promise myself today that my physical well being is and will stay a top priority. I will stop treating my body poorly, while expecting it to function normally. I will find ways to nourish, refresh, and support my body. I will do more of the things that make me happy, healthy, and relaxed. And I will do less of the things that leave me stressed, exhausted, and sick.

Will you do the same? Will you promise today to start taking care of your body? Will you join me now and begin really considering what is best for your health?

Q...If It Quacks Like a Duck, It's a Quack!

Anyone with a chronic illness has hours and hours of medical appointments and tests under their belt. Sometimes we start feeling like a science experiment. I know in the thick of my fibromyalgia flare up, which forced my doctors to finally admit I truly have a medical problem, I was sick and tired of being a patient. However, I am still grateful that my doctors were patient and understanding through the whole process. Many of the medical personnel who helped me through this journey were truly caring and wanted to help me find answers. After years of doctors that simply ignored or even discounted my complaints, I am thankful that I finally found people who would listen.

I have run across quite a few nurses and doctors that never seemed to want to listen. Anytime I would voice a concern or offer a suggestion, they would look at me like I was a child or even maybe a little insane. They had the mentality that they were the ones with the degrees and experience, so their opinion was all that mattered. I’ve even met a few doctors that I swear only became doctors because they love to talk and feel important. After experiencing some painful mistakes by the hands of arrogant doctors, I’ve learned that doctors are not infallible and they do not know everything.

Consequently, I encourage you to play an active role in your medical treatment. It is your body. You know it better than anyone. And you must live with the consequences of any medical decisions. If your doctor suggests treatment options, try to do some background research before deciding which option is best for you. Also, don’t be afraid to ask your doctor about any alternative treatments that you may come across in your research. Come to your appointments with any questions or concerns you might have. It might be helpful to write them down in the weeks before your appointment, so you come well prepared. Finally, don’t be afraid to challenge your doctor’s opinion. If he or she is set on a treatment option that you are not comfortable with, seek a second opinion. It is your right to have a doctor who will listen to your concerns and who will do his or her best to work around those concerns.

P...Perfectionist Purgatory: Park Your Nitpicking at the Door!

I am a horrible, horrible perfectionist. I love to nitpick and criticize even the smallest of flaws. But most people don’t even realize this because to others, I try my hardest to be caring, forgiving, and lenient with those around me. When it comes to myself, though, I am brutal. I get so angry and frustrated with myself when I make a mistake or can’t meet my standards, which at times, are insanely too high to reach. The worst part is since I now have a chronic illness, I must deal with even more limitations.

To preserve my sanity, I have been slowly retraining my thought processes and expectations. I still have quite a long way to go before I can willingly cut myself as much slack as do with others. Nevertheless, I am happy to see I am not as critical as they used to be. Essentially, it was either do away with the perfectionist or sink myself deeper and deeper into the abyss of fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is a brutal condition that can create a dangerous cycle that spirals your health more and more out of control. The more you fight it and try to act normally, the more it drains your energy and your life. Only with moderation, understanding, and self-forgiveness can we break the cycle and start reclaiming our lives.

If you were recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia or another chronic illness, I encourage you to leave your inner perfectionist at the door. A chronic medical condition has no room for mentally and emotionally picking yourself apart. I know that old habits die hard, and it isn’t very easy to overcome the negativity. But when you are fighting a battle within yourself you must focus your strength and energy solely on lessening your condition’s hold on your life. With part of your mind constantly nitpicking, criticizing, and insisting that you are worthless, you’ll be fighting two battles: one with your chronic illness and the other with yourself. How far to you really think you will get if you fight against two enemies?

O...Older Than Dirt Syndrome

When I was younger I never imagined that I would someday feel like a young person stuck an old person’s body. My great grandfather is an energetic and healthy 93. He lives on his own and still has a pretty active life. I always hoped and sort of assumed that if I took good care of myself I would follow in his footsteps. Little did I know that by the time I would turn 25 years old, fibromyalgia would have me a prisoner in my own body. 

As a child, I used to laugh when my dad would come home from a long day at work and jokingly say that he felt older than dirt. In my little mind, comparing people and dirt was just a silly idea. Plus, dirt has always been here, so how could anyone be older than dirt? Now, though, I can relate to this phrase that my late father was so fond of.

When I am having a fibromyalgia flare my body aches, cramps up, throbs, and stiffens up like I’m at least 90 years old. Even the simplest of tasks like walking, bathing, or getting dressed can be quite a chore. When I wake up on one of these mornings I crawl out of bed and force my stubborn muscles and bones to work again. Even still I often find myself stuck in old lady mode for the rest of the day. I creep and shuffle along, trying my best to make it through my day and to be as productive as possible.

It is so odd to feel incredibly old and decrepit at such a young age. I find myself conflicted because I long to do so many active and fun activities like I used to. But my body is rarely up to it. I don’t know how many pulled muscles, bruises, and headaches I have put myself through trying to act my age. I am working daily to try to reclaim my body and to make it as strong as it possibly can. This is my body. I want it back! However, fighting older than dirt syndrome is easier said than done. It seems as though whenever I push hard in an attempt to get fit, my body pushes back even harder. Although I will never give up, I’ve had to learn to pace myself, to forgive my weaknesses, and to celebrate even the smallest of victories.

N...Naps Are a Lifesaver

If it wasn’t for afternoon naps on my most difficult days, I would be a fibromyalgia zombie. As a writer, I tend to be a night owl because I can think best during the late hours of the day. Additionally, I have a lot less distractions during the night. I cyber school my children though, so sometimes I get too wrapped up in my writing and before I know it, morning is only a couple short hours away. The show must go on, so I go to sleep for that short time and pray that I can get a nap later on in the day.

On top of this, my pain sometimes makes it too difficult for me to sleep. The aches and pains of fibromyalgia can keep me up for hours. If I can fall asleep, my body usually wakes me up multiple times during the night. After nights like these, naps are truly a lifesaver. Without them, I realistically would not be able to function properly.

Most afternoons I am usually dragging and fighting exhaustion by about 3:00 pm. But when I spend much of my night awake I literally feel as though I’m going to pass out. I get all lightheaded and dizzy. The room starts spinning all around me. Unless I go to lie down and get some rest, I can no longer do anything.

I really hate when my body gets like this. It makes me feel so weak. On the other hand, I am very thankful that I have found a solution for when this happens. I am thankful that something as simple as a nap can replenish some of the energy that was lost during my day.

Sometimes we must give in to our weaknesses and admit that we need a break. Admitting that we can’t go on for now doesn’t make us weaker. In fact, it makes us stronger. It shows that we’re willing to do what it takes to deal with our weaknesses, so later we can get the most out of our lives. It demonstrates that even though we must back down for a moment, we’re only a regrouping to return and fight wholeheartedly again.

M...Mistakes and Setbacks

When we must deal with chronic illness we seem to have more than our share of mistakes and setbacks. We have a myriad of obstacles that we must overcome in addition to the normal challenges that a healthy person must face. We may have to start each day never truly refreshed, pushing through our daily lives with much of our energy already depleted. Also, we often must fight through pain that is always present to some degree. Many of us additionally have a handful of other symptoms which we must juggle each and every day. This makes failure and problems quite common in our lives.

When I set goals for myself I often underestimate the effect my fibromyalgia can have on my life. This month I decided to join the A to Z Blogging Challenge with all three of my blogs. Since I am unable to work outside my home, I have been trying to expand my freelance writing drastically. I hope someday to make a comfortable income from my writing. My fibromyalgia, though, loves to get in my way. It can prove to be difficult to write through the pain, fatigue, and brain fog. However, I was determined to stretch my writing abilities to the limit, so I can learn to be more efficient as a writer. 

Unfortunately, I wasn’t expecting my fibromyalgia pain to settle in my hands. I also didn’t plan on the stress of my dog getting seriously ill and having to undergo emergency surgery last week. As a result, I got behind on the blogging challenge. Part of me is so angry and frustrated with this setback.

I have decided, though, to use this anger and frustration to my advantage. Instead of giving up and telling myself that finishing this challenge is impossible, I found a way around my pain. Since my hand pain is making typing unbearable, I have set up a speech recognition program on my computer. It isn’t perfect. It doesn’t always understand my words. I have to make corrections at times. And it even has stopped working twice, requiring me to restart my computer. Nevertheless, I’m pleased to say that I am now caught up with the blogging challenge on my writing blog, and I am determined to get the rest of my posts up to date on this blog and my parenting blog.

Mistakes and setbacks are a fact of life, especially for us who suffer from chronic illness. But that doesn’t mean we should roll over and give up on our dreams and lives. Sometimes we have to be super creative and determined to make it through the challenges. Sometimes a solution is not readily available. Regardless, we cannot allow ourselves to give up because life is not life if we fail to live and grow. I encourage you to not lose hope and not give up on your dreams and goals for life. You’re not alone. We can do this together. We can be strong together. We can stay determined together. We can succeed together!

L...Layers and Layers and More Layers, Please!

Fibromyalgia is mostly known for causing widespread pain throughout the body. However, a lot of people don’t realize that this same chronic condition can cause problems with body temperature regulation. Since I developed full-blown fibromyalgia (over 4 years ago), I’ve noticed that I am very sensitive to both hot and cold. If I get too overheated during the summer, I get physically sick to my stomach, and I’m hit with a wave of dizziness and horrible headache.

My sensitivity to cold, though, is much more extreme. During the winter, I have to dress in multiple layers just to be comfortable in my own home (since I can’t be sweating out the rest of the household with the furnace). And whenever I need to go outside, I need to don even more layers. If I don’t keep myself covered with 3 or more layers, the cold makes me hurt to the core. Imagine taking the coldest ice cream and shoving it into an exposed tooth nerve…then multiply that by at least 10. That’s what cold exposure does to me.

Without tons of layers, I feel like I am rolling around in snow drifts completely naked. The pain knocks the breath out of me, and I can feel my warmth escaping from wherever I don’t have enough clothing. My life gets extra complicated during cold weather because I have to make sure I am properly dressed every single day. And the colder it gets the more layers I have to force myself into.

Since I’ve endured a few winters now, I have had a good bit of practice. It is becoming more of a habit. I no longer worry about how fat or uncomfortable I look under all those layers. It’s much more important to me these days to stay warm. Yes, I still sometimes feel strange having to wearing so much clothing at once, especially when people start asking about it. But I try not to allow it to bother me.

Despite all the strange looks and critical comments, we must remember that we shouldn’t worry about what others might think. We must do what we must do to survive another day with a chronic illness, and that is all that matters. Other people might make us feel like freaks of nature, but we just need to keep focusing on how strong we truly are. We keep fighting for daily life even though we face such tough challenges. Keep pressing on, my fellow fibro warriors. We shall prevail!

K...Kind Words and Compliments Will Get You Everywhere

Perhaps one of the hardest parts of having a chronic illness is being surrounded by all the negativity, skepticism, and self-doubt.  Inside and out, we are bombarded by critics telling us that we aren’t really sick or aren’t trying hard enough or not living our lives correctly.  As a result, it is so easy to feel sad, depressed, and useless.

To all of you out there with friends and family members suffering from a chronic illness, this post is for you.  You have the power to build up or tear down your loved ones.  In the dark world of chronic illness, you would be amazed at the effect of a single kind word or compliment.  We have grown so pessimistic and disheartened with life and the reactions of others that sincere positive words would be a glorious and welcomed respite.

Of course, we try our hardest to stay focused on the positive as much as possible.  Still, those negative words and thoughts haunt us day and night.  And our medical conditions seem to always take the forefront of our lives.  You, though, have the power to remind us of the brighter side of life again--merely by taking a moment to share with us things that you appreciate or love about us every now and then.

My late father loved to tease me that flattery would get me nowhere when I was trying to butter him up to get my way.  Of course, in that context, I hated that saying.  With my fibromyalgia, on the other hand, I couldn’t help but turn around this phrase.  Ultimately, sincere flattery really can get you everywhere with your loved ones.  Keep pouring on the compliments, kind words, and encouragement.  You never know how far you can pull your loved ones from the depressing pit of their chronic illness.