Saturday, April 6, 2013

F...Fibromyalgia & Fatigue

What seems like another lifetime ago, I used to wake up every morning feeling refreshed and energized. As soon as my alarm went off, someone knocked on my door, or the cheery sun peaked into my window, I was alert and ready to take on the day. Each new day seemed so exciting and I couldn’t wait to make the most of every moment!

Nowadays, I find myself in this exhausted, drained, and worn out rut that I just can’t get out of. I feel like I haven’t slept in days, even though I usually get a full night’s rest. There’s probably a hundred different ways that I could describe how I look and feel every morning. However, nothing probably comes as close to describing my morning zombie-hood than one of my late father’s favorite similes: hammered dog poo-poo (although he preferred a much more colorful ending to that description). I simply feel so beaten, worn, pounded, and ragged that I can certainly identify with that image.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not here to complain or spread the negativity. Rather, I’m putting this all out there for every person who has passed judgment on fibro sufferers and insisted that we are lazy or just don’t try hard enough. Do you realize how hard it is to get out of bed in the morning with every molecule of your body screaming for more rest? It is pretty darn difficult! But you push on and through it because you have places to go and people to see.

Yet, what if you never actually pushed through it? What if it kept repeating? What if this horrible morning haunted you every single day for the rest of your life? Would you keep pushing on day after day after day? Or would you eventually want to give up?

Tell me…after Day 1,000 would you be just as determined and sure that you could get on with your life as you were on Day 1? I don’t think so! And yet, we fibro sufferers must do just that, while enduring all your flack and criticism. What we lack in physical strength and energy, we make up tenfold in inner strength and determination.

Yes, we have bad days, and some days, we stay in bed to try to recoup for another fight against our chronic illness. We readily admit that we get discouraged, frustrated, overwhelmed, and depressed at times. However, we don’t stay that way. It is not in our nature to give up or give in to our fibro. We will fight, struggle, and push against fibromyalgia until the day we die…or at least until our war against chronic illness is won!

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